Time goes too fast. I feel as though I have been asleep for the past few weeks and suddenly, we are approaching the end of the Semester, and I feel like I have done absolutely. fuck. all.
So, therefore, my stress levels are pretty irrelevant by this point. I look back on this Semester and I’m not really sure what has been going on to be honest. My whole life feels so topsy-turvy by now, but I am barely even keeping up.
A big problem for me is structure and schedule. I am definitely someone who prefers to have my days and weeks planned out specifically so that I know exactly what is going on. Fibromyalgia, on the other hand, does not like schedule. Therefore, I think I need to be having words.
I am trying to find placements and get a decent grade for Second year but it is becoming a chore. I want to feel excited about learning, as I do, but I feel like school again whereby I am doing these things to pass and not for the benefit of my future and my knowledge. I don’t want to be doing things for the sake of doing them, I at least need some sort of worthwhile’ness about paying £9000 a year. The least they can do is not make me stressed (just jokes) (or am I) (we will never know).
I always get to this time of year and become the kind of student I always tell myself I would never become. I am confused by the lack of reading I am doing, but the amount of sleep I am doing also. It is as though the hours of the day are getting shorter and shorter, and my list of things to do is getting longer and longer, and there is no compromise between the two. Surely there should be some sort of way to do this, but maybe I am not uni-ing in the correct way. I think it is the latter.