Twas the awkward few days between Christmas and New Year.I do not want Christmas season to ever end – time goes so quickly.
As 2016 approaches, I look back on this year in so much gratitude – I have made and grown with some of the best friendships I have ever had, I have spent the best year with my lovely boyfriend who has absolutely changed my life. I have made a lot of progress with myself and I learnt a lot about just living.
With Fibro, it is so easy to forget what life is about. Yes, I have this crappy illness that could ruin my life if I let it, yet, nothing is stopping me from enjoying what I can, while I can. This year, I joined Trampolining, a bloody big deal for someone with this disability, but I enjoy it more than anything. I even competed to a national level for the first time in 7 years! Fibro will never defeat me.
I also went on a massive ‘yolo’ spree and I have experienced some amazing things, I have been to loads of different places, I have spent about 50% of this year on public transport. I also got another tattoo and a new piercing, learnt how to apply for ‘real’ jobs, and somehow am still working towards a degree and working 16 hours a week.
But don’t get me wrong – I have paid for all of this. Flare ups and fibro fog come and go more than usual. I had one in Berlin for example, and for a week afterwards I was so exhausted, in pain, bed bound. As I never really recovered from it, and had to move into my new house, I had a flare up for about a month, so bad that I have sprained my neck and even now it is bad, even though I am not in a flare at the moment (touch wood). But what I am trying to say is that it is so easy to focus on the bad things. The bad things happen all the time.
People seem to get to this time of year and forget about everything good that has happened, even though they may seem small and insignificant. I choose to focus on the things that have helped me… I need to. I know I am not going to get better, and I know that for most of my life I will be in pain and wonder every night whether it will ever go away. Yet, it could be so much worse. I am so lucky to have this situation rather than something else, and so step-by-step I do carry on and get on with it, knowing of my boundaries, but learning about myself and my body along the way.
To commemorate this wondrous (if not very scary) end to 2015, I must reflect on how bloody brilliant it has been. Queue abnormally long post.
- My favourite memory was my ‘epiphany’ moment I will call it – cycling through the Hampshire/Wiltshire countryside border with my boyfriend, on one of the hottest days of Summer, and just feeling all free and thinking ‘bloody hell, I am so lucky to be here’ (despite nearly falling off and bruising my pelvis).
- Watching Mamma Mia in theatre was also one of the greatest feelings. I went with my Mum (who is also a huge theatre/musical fan). I love the feeling of the theatre and everything that it symbolises and represents in culture, music and arts.
- Spending the Summer with my boyfriend was so amazing. It was hard, because our whole relationship has been us living together and being around each other constantly, and for 4 months of him full-time working, and me traveling up when I found a spare day or so to do it was pretty exhausting and straining. But we made so many memories and distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder.
- Moving into my first little house (no matter how terrible it really is).
- Ticking some things off of my ‘mental bucket list’.
Favourite TV shows
Of course, this has to be Pretty Little Liars SEASON FINALE and the start of Season 6. I did not sleep all Summer. I spent too many hours theorising. We found out who A was. I have never experienced so much stress.
Whereas, last year (and the past 5 years to be precise) I would have said One Direction, or The Weeknd, I am absolutely obsessed with Selena Gomez’s Revival, I listen to it on repeat without shame. Similarly, Everything Everything, Magic! and Shakira (obviously) have been my go-to Spotify choices.
Favourite Makeup Item
Bronzer has been bae this year. I have gone through 2 during 2015 and somehow came out the other end of the year with 4 left. How? Because I am addicted to being a bronzed goddess and fulfilling my dreams of being a Kardashian. Fuck with me.
Favourite Beauty Item
Moisturiser. Specifically Garnier Gradual Tan. I have managed to bulk buy these bottles because they are so great and I have used them everyday this year up until about a week ago (nothing special, just pure laziness) (must. resist. mental. dance).
As a classic Uni student, the Warming Sandalwood Febreze Air Freshener basically shits on pretty much every candle ever.
Though not quite the classic holiday destination, Berlin just made every dream come true.
I hope 2016 is filled with health, wealth and happiness, and even more memories to come. It has some standards to live up to, though!