What the f*#! is self-confidence?! How I plan to challenge it

It is so easy to get caught in the trap of lacking self-confidence. Whether self-confidence, or lack thereof, is caused from bullying, comments, anxiety, shyness or just general daily life, it really is frustrating. It isn’t as simple as saying ‘Just be confident’ or ‘Just be happy with yourself’… it is so much more than that and runs a lot deeper thman a quick comment that will change your mindset.

Personally I have struggled with self-confidence since I was younger – I was bullied throughout primary school and for most of my life mainly for being ‘skinny’ or just because my anxiety and perfectionist ways get the better of me. As I became older, I became more aware of those around me and have become extremely self-conscious of standing out or not ‘looking’ or acting right or like my peers. As petty as it seems typing it out, it is something that I know a lot of other girls, and guys, struggle with, as life becomes a systemic comparison of perfection and we have constant access to a stream of portrayed lives (as discussed in There’s more to life than being perfect).

Sometimes I see others who embody confidence, breathing their confidence down your throat – they let you know who they are, they aren’t embarrassed, they embrace themselves and it is so empowering to see people use this to their advantage. They don’t care how they come across or how they may seem – they are just… themselves. It seems so easy, care-free and just fun to be so happy-go-lucky and not giving a shit about what others think of them. I find myself saying… I wish I was like them.

Well, why can’t I be?

So from now on, I’m going to practice what I preach and take my own positive advice. Here are my 3 daily challenges to improve my self-confidence. Who’s with me?!

1 – I will challenge myself

Everyday I am going to challenge myself and actively take myself out of my comfort zone. I have spent way too long hiding under this mask of self-doubt and pity – I am going to take action and try not to won’t be scared of the results. Who cares how I come across and who cares what people think of me? All that matters is how I think of myself. If I am a good person and my intentions are good, that is all that truly means something to me.

2 – I will say ‘thanks’ to compliments

Instead of saying really? to compliments of hard work or something looking nice, I will acknowledge and say thank you. I will ensure that I believe the person and feel ok about taking it rather than questioning its’ authenticity. I will happily take pride in something I’m doing well and will compliment others.

3 – I will compliment myself – and mean it

I am going to be ok with how I feel, look, walk, talk and act without cringing or feeling self-conscious. If I look good, I will acknowledge it. If I have worked hard or done something well, I will applaud myself and make myself feel good about it rather than question whether it can be done better. It is not weak or embarrassing to want to try and help yourself and make yourself feel better – and it is a bonus to really, truly feel it!

These things may seem small, but it really goes to show that the smallest change in mindset and actions can have the biggest impact in how you feel and how you exert yourself to others.

What are you going to do to improve your self-confidence?

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Such a lovely post :) I think another thing to remember is although some people seem to be ‘perfect’, and are quite intimidating with their self-confidence, inside they do have doubts too!

    Thank you xx

    1. earthtoloz says:

      So so true! I always forget that, esp on social media as you never really know what’s real and what isn’t xxx

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